Nice jokes

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside of the box.

What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? - Well the flag is a big plus.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. - I have a hunch, it might be me.

 

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There was once a sheep farmer who needed help with the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male sheep to keep them from breeding with the females. He hired a French guy who didn't speak English, but was a very good worker. 

After the first day, they had successfully castrated 14 sheep and his French worker was just about to throw away the parts, but the sheep farmer yelled, "No! Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat them. They're delicious and we call them 'sheep fries'." 

Later that day, the French hired hand came in for supper and indeed, the 'sheep fries' were tasty. 

The next day, they castrated 16 sheep, and the following evening they all settled down to another supper of 'sheep fries'. The third day, however, when the sheep farmer came home, he asked his wife where the French hired hand was. 

She said, "You know, it was the weirdest thing! I told him since there weren't very many 'sheep fries' this evening, we were also going to have French fries. Then he screamed and ran like hell." 

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Sheldon, a butcher just out of trade school in Canada applies for and gets a job, skinning and cutting up the kills of local hunters. 

The first project he gets is to cut up a moose to put in the freezer. 

Sheldon finally gets the moose cut up and is putting it into bags and marking them carefully with the contents: chops, rump steak, ribs, sirloin, etc, etc. When he finishes with the stuff he knows, he is still left with a pile of unidentifiable moose parts. 

At a loss as to what to do with them, he finally puts them all into one large bag and labels them... "Moosellaneous."