Chinese hotel brochure

Beijing Chinglish

Perhaps not so graphic but text below rings like Japan in the 1960's among the ones of you who care to remember...

 

A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reads it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English……….

 

Getting There:

Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

 

The Hotel:

This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant:

Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:

Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! . You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed

Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above all:

 

When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget.

Do what other don't, save a life. From all of us, Thank you.
Taste the difference between a cup of tea and saving a life. From all of us, Thank you.
With a couple of clicks and a few Euro you can save a life, if you don't do it it's because you don't want to. From all of us, Thank you.
To save a life there is no minimum, give what you want. From all of us, Thank you.
In this App Store you can save a life for 99 cents, but if you want to you can pay 1 Euro. From all of us, Thank you.
Save a life & look at yourself in the mirror, you'll see the difference. From all of us, Thank you.
You pay less saving a life than you would for a doughnut. From all of us, Thank you.
Give 1 Euro, win a fife. Who can give more?. From all of us, Thank you.
To give 1 or 2 Euro, you really don't need to think so much. From all of us, Thank you.
Every 5 seconds a child dies of hunger, you can't save them all but you can one. From all of us, Thank you.
To save a child from certain death by starvation, is priceless. You can do it here for a couple of Euros. From all of us, Thank you.
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