Bloody Awful Restaurants and the Critic Who Loves Them
PHOTOGRAPH: REX USA
In 2012, the New York Times restaurant critic Pete Wells wrote a review of Guy Fieri’s American Kitchen and Bar, in Times Square, so scathing that it went viral. Conceived as a sort of open letter to Mr. Fieri himself, it consisted entirely of rhetorical questions like, “Why did the toasted marshmallow taste like fish?” and “When we hear the words Donkey Sauce, which part of the donkey are we supposed to think about?”
Damning, to be sure, and quite saucy (no pun intended) for the usually genteel Times. And yet Wells’s review seems almost Puritan when compared to a review that caught the Internet’s attention last month. This one, published in the London newspaper the Observer, considered a “steak and crab joint” in that city called Beast, where, the writer declared, “the corn-fed, dry-aged Nebraskan rib-eye, with a carbon footprint big enough to make a climate-change denier horny, is bloody marvelous.” And, he went on, “at £100 a kilo it bloody well should be. At that price they should lead the damn animal into the restaurant and install it under the table so it can pleasure me while I eat.”






