The Pit Post | Struggling

The Pit Post | Struggling

to find the right words, young men often miss out on that fleeting moment when mere chance has put the girl of his dreams within the possibility of acquaintance.  Maybe she smiled, maybe she didn’t, but there she is and you don’t know what to say.  How to approach her.  It is every young guy’s dilemma. The opening line.  Sure, some guys have all the right stuff, and the women fall easily, but most guys struggle, and the struggle leads to loneliness and suffering and for some even desperation and the priesthood.  Brother, I feel your pain, or more appropriately, I once felt your pain in the long ago.  Miss Right doesn’t stroll into the picture very often, so when she does you want to be prepared.  Or at least lucky – un colpo di fulmine, as they say in Italian, a thunderbolt, love at first sight in both orbits.  It happens, though rarely.  Not that women today don’t take the initiative – they do, but those women always seem to go by the other last name.  If it would help alleviate the pain of failure, know that any guy with plenty of experience in dealing with the opposite sex has learned that women are among the most complicated creatures on earth; we men, by comparison, are much simpler.  Beautiful, as subjective as it may be, does it for us.  At least in the short term. Women, on the other hand, expect you to be good looking, intelligent, funny and interesting, and dressed ‘right,’ and that’s just for starters.  Hell, a gorgeous girl need only be gorgeous.  She may have little or no sense of humor, be relatively uninteresting in the idea department, dressed like a fast food clerk, and you haven’t given a thought to her I.Q.  Gorgeous is all it takes to get things started.  And fun.  You can worry about the rest if there is a long term.  So how do you convince a girl that she ought to get to know you, or at least talk to you for five minutes.  What must a great guy with loads to offer do if he has trouble breaking the ice?  There is only one possibility: throw care and caution to the wind.  You must move quickly.  Don’t stare.  Staring translates to stalking.  If you look like a stalker, you probably are.  Get into her personal space before she realizes you are there.  And spit out the first words that come to mind.  But give heed to Hamlet’s instructions to actors who’ve come to Elsinore, in Shakespeare’s eponymous play:

“Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trippingly on the tongue. But if you mouth it, as many of your players do, I had as lief the town crier spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air too much with your hand thus, but use all gently, for in the very torrent, tempest, and (as I may say) whirlwind of passion, you must acquire and beget a temperance that may give it smoothness.”

Put simply, be smooth, quick and graceful, nimble in speech and action, careful not to use too many hand gestures and too much emotion.  And you will get the girl, as Hamlet’s actors caught the King.

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