Blogshit by John Pitonzo

      Blogshit

 

THERE THEIR THEY’RE TOO TO YOUR YOU’RE HERE HEAR BEAR BARE BAWLED BALLED BALD,.:;!

is similar to bullshit, the only difference being that bullshit actually makes sense, as trivial and foolish as it may be. Blogshit wants to make sense, but it doesn’t because it is blogging done with no attention to grammar and punctuation.  No sense is worse than nonsense.  Nonsense can be fun.  Literary.  Dr. Seuss wrote nonsense.  Green Eggs and Ham – pure fun.  Edward Lear’s The Owl and the Pussycat is pure, poetic nonsense as is Ogden Nash’s The Cow and Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures inWonderland.  Blogshit makes little or no sense because the writing is so poor.  Bullshit, and there is a lot of it out there in every bar, café, workplace and church, is at least comprehensible.  Blogshit is worse than drivel because blogshit tends to annoy the reader.  Unless the reader is equally grammar dumb. Blogshit is to a blogger like a laxative is to someone who already has diarrhea.  To clean up the messy writing, it would take toilet paper more than it would an eraser. Likewise, Insta-shit and Twittershit. Sorry, but the 140 characters, now up to 280, allowed by Twitter, and the 2200 allowed by Instagram, are no excuse for writing sloppy captions and tweets. As limited in vocabulary and as illiterate as Donald Trump is, his tweets are comprehensible bullshit.  Tweets and Instagram captions aren’t, however, as grammatically offensive as badly written blogposts because punctuation is knowingly sacrificed in lieu of extra characters. It seems the more room people have to say something, the more space they have to prove just how badly they can say it, or write it.  Whatever happened to good grammar and proper punctuation?  At least travel up to the top left of your screen and hit spellcheck. Here’s an example taken from an actual Instagram caption:

“My sole mate brought me out too dinner last night had horderves fillay minyon he popped the big question will you merry me I burstedinto tears everbody around us clapped there like omg he just asked his girlfriend to mary him I cant believed it I just died n said yes ill merryyou the rings a little big but owell I can size it then a women said yourso lucky.”

Hairs anuther egg sample, won from a blogpost:

“We wated an hour in line to see santa and then my son, 4 year oldstarts balling and im like cmon, if you cry santa isnt gonna bring you nothing so stop crying like a good boy.  Their all these other mom’s waiting online and some of them just dont have any patients.  Santas like trying hard to get em to stop crying but no luck.  The day was totally lost cause okay I said No presets for you it was has been a real tyring day.  I wouldn’t of brung em if knew he was gonna cry.”

All this erroneous writing is painful to read and, worse, produced by adults. Please, check your spelling and grammar. If you don’t have time, then stop writing.  Your embracing yerself

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